Chuck: The Champ and reigning MVP...spends his actual money on a mini van. Personally paints a mural of Donovan Mitchell on the side. He calls it the "DonoVan." Starts the bidding on Mitchell at $100 to ensure the theme.

Shawn: Super calm and collected. He doesn't even mention that he lost the IR debate. False. He rage drafts and ends up with only players that play, or have played, for Steve Kerr. $50 for Swaggy.

Tom: LATom embraces the LA lifestyle...every trade offer comes with a signed headshot. He is only interested in acting roles that involve LABron. $75 for the MonStars.

Christian: The Commish...his draft board is leaked by Buckets, or at least he thought it was Buckets. Was there a league member spying under that costume? Don't be paranoid...or be very paranoid!!!!! Draft Board reads, "Anyone but Draymond." Wins a bidding war for J.R. Smith.

Dan: After killing DanNet, Dan is free to do as he pleases. He only drafts players on teams that have animal mascots. The hunt is on! He gets himself a Nerf crossbow and embarks on a journey that can only be described as trenchant. $54 for Robin Lopez.

Kyle: Thought IR stood for drugs. Is actually a fan of IR after all. $69 for Boogie. Forgets to save for LeBron.

Jon: Constructs his European dream team. Doncic!!!! Porzingod on his IR!!!!!!! He goes for it...one last ride...Gallinari!!!!!! Team Name: Euro Step Mamba Mentality Fuck Goodell. He offers a speech before the draft. It is well received.

Dewey: Blows all his money on Chris Paul, puts his feet up, has two of the finest beers from his collection, and watches all the chaos he started by going IR. Some people just want to watch it burn.

Stacks: It comes out that he might have been bribed with Voodoo to vote for IR, but there is no proof. $42.0 for Zach Randolph. The rest is gravy.

Ian: He is too chatty during the draft. WTF. Dwight Howard finds his way onto his team when no one is looking.

Andy: Last years personal calendar was a huge success. Per usual, he invests hard in the Grizzlies. Marc Gasol appears to him in a dream. He tells no one what is whispered to him in that dream. He becomes unstoppable in 2K.