It’s Not Me…It’s You

 
 

Dear Lakers,

This is a break up note. We are done. Finished. Termina.

It’s not me, it’s you.

I brought my all to this relationship.

Conceived on the eve of the 1979 Michigan State National Championship, Magic Johnson and I share a deep connection. I brought that to my fandom, rooting for you my whole life. When you signed my favorite player in 2018, I assumed it was fate. I forsook all others.

Though berated by those in close geographic proximity, I’d respond that the soul knows no boundary. What’s a short plane ride to life-long love?

A brief tangent on The King: Mr. James and I entered the workforce at the same time. Admittedly, he was coming in with higher expectations, but we were rookies the same year. (The only way I surpassed him was fit.) His first movie was used for my big grad school internship. I followed Mr. James through thick and thin. His request was simple. You give me a piece, I’ll give you a ring. Everywhere he went, he brought a champtionship. He did this without fail at all stops. After the g.d. Cavs refused to trade the #8 pick for Paul George, instead getting what’s essentially waver fodder, Mr. James decided to take his career to the Lakers. LA. Showtime. La la land. Mr. James at this point had done all he could, cemented his status as GOAT to anyone open minded enough to consider it, and won the most impressive championship in NBA History in 2016, beating the greatest team ever assembled, a team with only 9-losses (never done) and come back from 3-1 (never done). Then after, the NBA in the dumbest of dumb ass moves, allowed those same Warriors (to cheat the game by allowing) a one-time salary cap loophole - similar to the bailouts given to the Big Banks and Wall Street - to add, at no penalty, the third best player in the league to the best ever team. Time to bolt to LA.

I thought this was a meld of me, Magic, and the King. It was not. Skipping through some bullshit, The King said: get me AD, I’ll get you a ring. The Lakers got AD, The King got you a ring.

This should be a beautiful thing to build on. But no. You took the ring, but didn’t reward the man who got it. Instead of symmetry, the higher ups wanted their credit. The anti-trinitarian trio of Buss, Rambus, and Pelinka wanted to prove that it was them that were the brainpower. Them that were in control. Buss wanted to be equal to her dad. Fail. Rambus wanted to prove he could run a team. Can’t. And Pelinka considers himself equal with the greats. Nope. And through your attempts to prove it’s merit, not entitlement, that got you to where you belong: you fucked up a franchise, and lost me.

A list of a few offenses:

  • This team should be coached by Ty Lue. Instead, you’ve had three. Luke Walton. Fired. Frank Vogel (won a ring, had a great defense) fired. Darvin Ham (arguable the worst coach in the league) somehow fucking immune.

  • This team could have: Josh Hart, Alex Caruso, and KCP along with the whole core. Instead, you threw Hart into the Davis trade, let Caruso walk, and sent KCP for Westbrook. Not factoring in:

    • Hart would be amazing.

    • Caruso had the heart of the fans.

    • No one has ever mentioned Westrbook’s shooting or defense.

  • This team could have a mix of either:

    • Buddy Heild / Myles Turner OR

    • Kyrie Irving

      • Both would very much help. You could still have Reaves and Rui with this. Instead, you have D-Lo and Vanderbuilt. Neither of whom perform in the playoffs.

      • WHY would not take Kyrie. He would be perfect.

Anyway, in these and all things, you blame LeBron, and have never really accepted him into the fold. He got you a ring, broke the scoring record, and created the 40,000 point club all well in your uniform. You felt like you deserve him, but never treated him right.

For this, I hate you.

Hate is not a good feeling to harbor, and the introduction of the feeling has not been good on my body. I’ve lost sleep, given you mental energy, and put WAY too much brain power into the aforementioned anti-trinitarian trifecta. I’ve stayed up late, imbibing, given up sleep, and spent time and effort going through trades and free agent scenarios. For what? So Buss can proclaim Darvin Ham to the be the big free agent signing? So Pelinka can sign the - Vanderbuilt, Vincent, Wood, Reddish combo that’s scored about 10-combined playoff points.

I could go on and on, but I’ve defended you too long and given you too many good years of my life. I’m done. It’s your fault. I hate you.

It is my hope that The King declines his option, and - like me - takes his skills and passions elsewhere. But regardless, my fandom ends today.

From the second the 2nd consecutive sweep ends, I will not give a second of time, ounce of thought, or minute of sleep to any game that I do not want to watch. I’ve been doing so out of a sense of duty, but no more. I might watch you, occasionally, because: If it’s fun I’m in, but if your game starts at 10 - I’m out. If it’s the 3rd quarter but I’d rather re-watch an episode of the office: I will.

We’re done.

It’s all you. And if I’m honest, it’s been mostly ass.

FTL.

LeTom